Boobs: A Coming of Age, Romantic Comedy by Kara Miller

Author:Kara Miller [Miller, Kara]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Literature & Fiction, United States, African American, Women's Fiction, Teen & Young Adult, Social & Family Issues, Being a Teen, Social Issues, A Coming of Age, Urban, Romantic Comedy, Multicultural
Amazon: B00YAYUYCG
Publisher: Charlotte Street Publishing
Published: 2015-05-25T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

CELIA

“Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt”14

Me and Little Dork walk into the playground of a nursery school. There’s a sign that says “Kaplinsky’s Montessori”.

I see three boys - one Cute, earnest looking Black Guy, one Goofball Black Guy and one Fat White Guy. The Fat White Guy is wolfing down a slice of anchovy pizza. Makes me want to vom. I can smell it from here. There’s a hyper dog looking up at the Fat White Guy, it's bouncing up and down trying to get scraps. Little Dork gestures for me to wait while she goes a few yards away to speak to them.

There are swings, climbing bars, slides, you name it. I love swings...

I see Little Dork do some kind of handshake with the first black guy. The way she looks at him I know he’s the one. That’s the guy she likes, the one she was doing all her hilarious ‘research‘ for. He’s actually very easy on the eyes but way too young for me. He looks like a black Justin Beiber. No. More hunky. OK he’s a geekier, black Taylor Lautner. Still hot though. Certainly worth a dork like Little Dork getting tits for! LOL. Little Dork and Cute Black Guy whisper something. The cute dog does a low growl at Little Dork. It so doesn’t like her. LOL!

Then she does the same weird handshake with Goofy Black Guy and then Fat White Guy. The Fat White Guy has a bandage on his left hand. Everytime Little Dork touches it, during their weird handshake, Fat White Guy flinches a little. He's doing a good job of hiding the pain but it looks to me like it hurts! That's when I notice the fading black bruise on this guy's cheek. Either he boxes for a living or he walks into a lot of doors. Stupid schmuck.

They keep whispering a word to each other. Better not be about me.

They start to talk amongst themselves. They’re trying to be quiet but I can hear every word.

“Who’s that?” asks Cute Black Guy.

“She looks funny,” says Goofy Black Guy.

“Fuh real brah,” says Fat White Guy. “She frontin like dat patch-up scarecrow in Wizard of Oz or some ish. What’s up with her clothes?!”

I’m biting my tongue because I need this to work with Little Dork. But I’m feeling way pissed. And what’s the deal with Fat White Guy? Why is he the blackest sounding person here? Grrrr! Little Dork’s friends are, incredibly, even more annoying than she is.

“She looks kinda fat in her tummy,” says Goofy Black Guy.

Fat White Guy starts to laugh, soon he’s guffawing. “Dang! She’s knocked up! Oh shoot!”

WTF! I mean do they think I’m deaf. I can hear everything from where I’m standing.

“Shut up Dickwad!” I say curlin my lip the way Madonna did in Desperately Seeking Susan... She had just the right mixture of I’m going to kill you and I just might f*&k you, to be dangerous. This is why I love eighties style.

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